259+46=Scientology

by Chet

Sitting in class the other day I made a list of things I despise, and then a list of things I suck at. I was going to write about those things, but then I saw the newest Tom Cruise video. I know I am a few weeks late, but it’s Tom Cruise! I used to think Tom Cruise was just your run of the mill celebrity. You know all stealthy in his tighty-whiteys while flying a jet humming the Mission Impossible theme song. Then he let the world know that he is a Scientologist. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you should all head over to YouTube and check out the newest Tom Cruise Scientology endorsing video. The best part is the MI theme playing in the background the whole time.

I think his journey to meet the mad hatter for tea started when he attacked Brooke Shields for using medication while she was suffering from postpartum depression. Then he jumped on Oprah’s couch. Then he married Katie Holmes, who admitted to dreaming about Tom Cruise in her childhood. What an awkward way to begin your relationship. Then he reproduced creating Suri, the mystery child of the Jesús Cristo de Scientology!

Now he has created this video where he states that Scientologists are the absolute authorities on the mind, solving America’s drug problem, and psychology! Oh wait no, I forgot, Tom Cruise single handedly defeated the psychiatry problem in the United States! I don’t really want to spend much time focusing on the video itself. I actually decided to write this in order to pose a question: Do you know what it is that Scientologists believe?

I have ignored the existence of Scientology since I learned of its existence. Apparently L. Ron Hubbard started his little venture back in the late 1960s. However Tom Cruise is currently the leading force in bringing it into the light that it is now under. I recently joined Stumble Upon and quickly downloaded the toolbar so that I could “stumble” my way across the internet. While stumbling I found this short Web novel, Testimony. This is a memoir of a woman who had fallen into the grips of Scientology and how she escaped. This is where I got my information, and I choose to believe an author who has been published multiple times on her subject.

Scientologists believe that all Humans are made of multiple Thetans. A Thetan is a life form from another galaxy. Apparently the Thetans were brought here long ago by the evil dictator Xenu. In an attempt to solve the problem of overpopulation in his galaxy Xenu brought some Thetans over to Earth and put them in volcanoes with hydrogen bombs. Once he set off the bombs the Thetans were captured in the sky by electric ribbons and then reprogrammed to think they were humans.

That’s only the tip of the ice berg folks! I thought I would share this little tid bit with you all, and if you want more information I’ve linked to Testimony here in the blog.

I have to apologize for not writing in awhile, but I figure when my readership consist of maybe 5 people of the billions on the planet I would be forgiven.

Until Next Time,

ChetG