by Chet

It has become exceedingly apparent that all college age women in the world are part of a secret society. The only ones, who are not part of this “club”, are those that decide to dress and think for themselves in the morning. My latest piece of evidence is the proliferation of dock shoes on the SHSU campus.

I first started collecting this evidence about a month ago, when two girls walked into my Writing for PR class, both of which were wearing the notorious shoe style. I marked it off as some kind of sorority sister thing, and moved on with my day. However now every “typical” girl I see on campus has a pair of these shoes! Now, how is that this trend, which started with two girls, has now exploded into a campus-wide plague?

Isn’t it obvious?! All of these girls are part of a secret society of women. They meet once a month and decide what the next trendy thing will be. Why do men not notice these meetings you ask? It’s because they hold them in the “feminine products” section of grocery stores. What man goes there? It’s the perfect Forest of Solitude! I am currently planning on a way to infiltrate these secret meetings, I think I will use girlfriend as an in.

Although, I am still baffled as to why they chose to start wearing a style of shoe that has been used to say, “Hi, I’m a 55 year-old balding man who wishes I had a boat,” for the last few decades. Why would they want to steal attention from this population?!

My investigation will continue….maybe.


Until next time,