Micro-Blackholes Engulf MY Small Town.

by Chet

So apparently a sinkhole formed in my hometown yesterday. I’ve been following it on the news since then. I would like to go home and gawk at this site, but since I have Finals next week, I can’t. Although it is a fairly large hole, I don’t think it is going anywhere anytime soon. I checked my newspaper this morning to find that the tiny town I went to high school in had a full front page spread in the Houston Chronicle. (There’s also a tiny blurb in USA Today.) It’s rather exciting for the town of 1,000.

Everyone is blaming the sinkhole on the salt domes that have been resting peacefully beneath the city for years. However, why would the salt domes choose now of all times to turn on the town? Why haven’t they decided to collapse on themselves at an earlier point in time? They wouldn’t have, they were perfectly happy being empty salt domes. The real truth is that hundreds of trillions of micro-blackholes have developed in this small area of Daisetta, TX. Thus bending the time-space continuum and making the space within the salt domes disappear. This is not the salt domes fault, but CERN’s.

I don’t really have much to go on yet, but as the switch-on date for the Large Hadron Collider rapidly approaches, I believe instances like this will continue to occur across the globe.

Maybe I’m crazy.