Chet Reads & Writes* » Comic Relief

Web Designer Declaration of Independence

Chet — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:53:26 +0000

I’m a huge fan of Web Design standards, and if I could I’d love to work with the W3C more closely. I believe that all Web developers, designers and users should follow their standards and stop taking petty shortcuts. Apparently I’m not alone; I’ve optimistically assumed that I never was alone in this.
Sam Dunn over on Build Internet has taken the time to develop The Web Designer Declaration of Independence, and it’s awesome.
The list of grievances are totally worth taking a gander at:

Myspace, which has empowered people everywhere to bring back the Geocities days of tiled backgrounds and animated GIFs. And sparkle text… so much sparkle text.

The Internet Marketer, their presence on Twitter, and their continued vague solicitations to “Market your internet”.

The pixel pusher client, because that one art class you took in college does not qualify you to “make the design better” by shifting everything 2 pixels to the left.

The family friend that gives you the “honor” of doing a free website for them. (Just wait, it will be the iTunes and Facebook killer – all in one).

Internet Explorer and everything it stands for.

Web 2.0 graphics, in all their high gloss, beveled, gradient covered, badge-y glory.

The use of meaningless stock photography, because a person and three of their coworkers are never that excited about what’s happening on a computer monitor. Stop pointing at it.

Tables used to layout an entire website with no tabular data. CSS was invented for a reason, quit using a candle when you have a lightbulb

“Dime a dozen” companies that “optimize SEO, innovate solutions, accessibility your HTML, scalability your Photoshop, and buzzword your buzzword. Oh yeah…unsurpassed quality too.”

Comic Sans.

For the full text of the declaration, and to sign it please visit Build Internet.

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Crush My Castle

Chet — Fri, 08 May 2009 01:54:25 +0000

Today was the last day of classes at Sam. As per usual boredom on campus births many pastimes, or many ways to waste time. Today I found a new game to get me through class. It’s called Crush The Castle, and can be found at Armor Games. It’s a total guy game because it’s all about death and destruction with a trebuchet. Basically you’re charged with the goal of destroying a castle down field with rocks, and eventually bombs. There are 24 built-in castles that can be destroyed, or you can build your own. I built my own after destroying the others.

Now I charge you all to go to the game and try to destroy my castle. To load it go to the Build My Own menu, and from there click load. Once the load menu is open you must paste my code in.

1~w_i:408.35,363.35|w_i:466.7,365.05|w_i:578.35,363.3|
w_i:636.7,358.25|w_i:755,358.3|w_i:813.3,356.65|
w_i:883.4,358.3|w_i:943.35,360|w_i:1000,356.7|
w_i:1061.7,358.25|w_s:426.65,363.3|w_s:446.65,365|
w_s:596.7,360|w_s:616.65,361.65|w_s:773.35,356.7|
w_s:793.35,356.55|w_s:903.35,360|w_s:923.4,361.7|
w_s:1021.7,358.25|w_s:1041.7,358.35|fl_i:500,298.35|
fl_i:700,294.95|fl_i:903.35,293.3|fs_i:1028.35,294.95|
fl_s:500,286.7|fl_s:696.7,283.35|fl_s:893.35,281.65|
fs_s:1013.35,283.35|w_s:726.7,218.3|w_s:745,218.35|
w_i:708.35,216.65|w_i:763.35,215.05|f_i:736.7,151.65|
f_i:786.65,133.3|f_i:693.35,133.35|fs_i:735,143.35|
fs_i:688.35,141.65|fs_i:781.65,143.3|fl_w:740,123.3|
f_i:823.4,113.35|f_i:646.7,113.3|f_i:738.35,113.35|
fl_i:635,106.65|fl_i:836.7,106.65|fl_i:741.65,98.3|
fl_i:943.35,98.35|fl_i:540,98.35|fl_i:651.7,88.2|
fl_i:851.7,88.3|f_i:503.35,88.3|f_i:1000,88.3|
fl_i:586.7,78.35|fl_i:788.35,78.35|f_i:936.7,78.25|
fl_i:620,68.35|fl_i:821.65,70|fl_i:666.7,60|f_i:815,60|
fl_i:701.7,50|f_i:681.7,40|f_i:776.65,40|fs_i:821.7,50|
f_i:730,30|w_s:673.35,-26.7|w_s:785,-26.7|w_i:653.35,-26.7|
w_i:805,-25|fl_i:726.7,-91.65|fl_s:726.7,-103.35|
fl_i:725.05,-113.3|w_s:655,-178.35|w_s:675,-178.35|
w_s:776.7,-178.35|w_s:795,-178.35|w_i:636.7,-178.35|
w_i:815,-180|fl_i:725,-245|fl_s:726.7,-258.35|
fl_i:726.65,-268.35|ws_s:638.35,-303.35|
ws_s:675.05,-303.3|ws_s:711.65,-301.65|ws_s:748.35,-301.7|
ws_w:656.7,-303.3|ws_w:693.35,-303.35|
ws_w:730,-301.7|ws_w:766.7,-301.7|ws_s:785,-300|
ws_w:803.35,-301.7|ws_s:821.7,-299.95|
fl_s:731.65,-340|fl_i:730,-350|p_t:670,-380|
p_t:790,-380.05|p_s:661.65,398.25|p_s:675,390|
p_s:700,395|p_s:688.35,406.65|p_s:718.35,405|
p_s:733.35,410|w_i:326.65,361.65|w_i:345,361.65|
w_i:365,361.7|w_i:386.65,363.35|w_i:326.7,240|
w_i:386.7,240|w_s:346.65,240|w_s:366.65,240|
w_s:346.65,116.65|w_s:366.65,116.65|w_i:326.65,118.3|
w_i:386.65,116.65|w_i:326.65,0|w_i:386.65,0|f_s:356.65,-66.6|
f_i:358.25,-76.7|p_t:358.35,-105.05|w_i:305,361.65|
w_i:305,248.35|w_i:305,126.65|w_i:306.7,3.3|
w_i:286.6,114.9|w_i:286.65,238.3|w_i:285.05,363.25|
c_k:846.7,381.65|c_q:546.7,381.65|c_p:500,383.25|
w_i:686.65,216.7|w_i:783.35,218.35|w_i:993.35,215|
w_i:971.7,216.65|ws_i:971.65,126.65|ws_i:990.05,128.3|
w_i:463.3,220.05|w_i:485,220|ws_i:484.9,128.35|ws_i:466.65,133.3|
w_i:506.65,221.65|ws_i:503.3,133.3|

I know it’s really, really…really long, but it’s an awesome castle.

Leave a comment with how many hits it took to kill the family inside.

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X-Box 360 and Vista Ultimate: A Match Made in Heaven?

Chet — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:29:05 +0000

This past weekend was my 21st birthday. Last year when my birthday came around I wrote a nice feature story about adulthood being a sham. It had great reviews and people loved it. I considered taking a similar route this year, but instead you’re getting a tech support adventure from me.

Monday, April 20, 2009: The first Monday of the semester when I would not be teaching labs.

7:30 am: The day began.

8:00 am: Shower.

9:00 am: Drop fiance off at class.

9:15 am: Return home and layout the day’s agenda.

Research and write-up internet usage in Romania
Research and write-up history of Romania
Read and summarize “Newspapers need to learn that great online communities should not be dictatorships” for MCM 465.
Finish PR Campaign
Work on Spanish Lab.

9:30 am: Sat on couch, noticed X-Box 360 and laptop and decided to create a Windows Media Extender relationship. (The X-Box is my new toy I received over the weekend.)

9:45 am: Retreived serial code from X-Box, began connection process.

9:45:10 am: Connection Error (!?)

9:45:45 am: Open Firefox, Google “X-Box 360 Windows Media Extender Error”

Computer: Error -209 is the most commen problem here.
Brain: I must have Error -209, lets not bother to check.
Computer: Try deleting your Extender Certificate.
Brain: Okay, .
Brain: I don’t have a certificate…

10:00 am: Google “X-Box 360 Windows Media Extender Error Vista Ultimate”

Computer: Reinstall Vista.
Brain: I don’t even think so…
Computer: I promise it works!
Brain: Not going to work this time!
Computer: Okay just uninstall OneCare.
Brain: I don’t run OneCare. *fail*
Computer: Delete secondary MAC Address on X-Box system.
Brain: Awesome, except it doesn’t have one.

10:15 am: Google “X-Box 360 Connection Error Windows Vista not 209″

Computer: Error -209 is the most common…
Brain: argh!
Smart Brain: Why don’t you check your error logs, like everyone else?
Brain: because…
Smart Brain: *checks error log* See you don’t have Error -209 you have Error -107.
Brain: FML

10:30 am: Google “X-Box 360 Connection Error -107″

Computer: Error -209 is the most common…
Brain: Are you kidding me?
Computer: Try everything I already told you to try again.
Brain: okay…

10:55 am:

Smart Brain: *thinks & considers giving up*
Brain: NEVER! We must solve the mystery. We’re like the Hardy Boys!
Smart Brain: *Face Palm*
Brain: Maybe we need to reconfigure our search function. Try “X-Box 360 Connection Error.”
Smart Brain: *Eureka!*

11:05 am: Google “Windows Error Code -107″

Computer: It’s about time, here you are. “Error code -107 means that your network is unidentified. Wait until your connection is identified and try again.”
Brain: What?
Smart Brain: Network = Identifying…
Brain: oooh…

11:15 am:Reset router. Network identifies instantly.*dances*

11:20 am: Input new X-Box Serial number, select options, connection error. FML.

11:22 am: Check Error Logs. “Error -209″

Brain: ouch…

11:25 am: Search and destroy Extender certificate. Target neutralized.

11:30 am: Re-enter X-Box Serial number, select options, go!

11:30: 25 am: Thundercats are go!

11:31 am: Celebratory dance, Fiance calls to meet for lunch.

2:30 pm: Return from lunch, check agenda.

Research and write-up internet usage in Romania
Research and write-up history of Romania
Read and summarize “Newspapers need to learn that great online communities should not be dictatorships” for MCM 465.
Finish PR Campaign
Work on Spanish Lab.

2:35 pm: Declare it a productive day.

Sometimes my friends are appalled by logistic steps I take. I decided that this was a fantastic experience that would allow everyone a quick glimpse into how my brain works. It’s a pretty scary place most days, but at least I can watch videos from my HD laptop on my SDTV.

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I ♥ Republicanism

Chet — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 19:12:27 +0000

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Introduction to Grammar.

Chet — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 19:07:44 +0000

This post isn’t really about anything. I just happened to stumble onto this image and thought of myself. I hope i have friends that agree with the hilarity of this.

This image belongs to: Rumplo.com.

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Update: Someone has a sense of humor.

Chet — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:41:17 +0000

All credit for this goes to Truthdig, I just happened to Stumble across it. In lieu of the recent New Yorker/Obama “fiasco” I believe this should definitely be their next cover.

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This is Awesome!

Chet — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:02:10 +0000

This really cracked me up at work, no matter how ethnically insensitive it is. I grew up in the Pokemon age, and still love it. Whenever I can afford or can convince someone to buy me a Nintendo DS. I will be playing some new age Pokemon! Hope you guys laugh too.

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I wonder if my parents ever felt this way:

Chet — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:23:18 +0000

Again, click away if you can’t read it

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Everybody Loves Kansas

Chet — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 23:37:42 +0000

I found this while stumbling across the internet today. It made me laugh aloud, which was rather embarrassing since my laugh echoed throughout LEMIT.

Chet Reads & Writes* » Comic Relief

Web Designer Declaration of Independence

Crush My Castle

X-Box 360 and Vista Ultimate: A Match Made in Heaven?

I ♥ Republicanism

Introduction to Grammar.

Update: Someone has a sense of humor.

This is Awesome!

I wonder if my parents ever felt this way:

Everybody Loves Kansas

This is Awesome.