The ties run deep between Sam Houston & Texas Department State University of Criminal Justice

I know this isn’t what the headline actually says, but headlines should not be that difficult to interpret. News copy is meant to be written for all lay people to understand.

Today there is an opinion piece by Mad Brad Basker, this isn’t out of the ordinary, his pieces are printed almost every week. When I first started reading his pieces were pretty well written, and stuck to the humorous side. Lately however, his pieces have become a bit more editorial. I normally make my comments on the paper’s Web site, but today they may be taken especially rough so I decided to put them up where I was in control of the content.

Basker’s article today is meant to show his support for Texas secession from the Union. He begins by telling fanciful stories about brave Texans fighting in the Texas Revolutionary War of the 1830s.

Then, in 1845, some scoundrels decided that it would be better if we were annexed by the United States…

These scoundrels that Basker writes on, saved Texas by becoming part of the United States. In the 10 years of sovereignty Texas was only successful at deepening their debts to the US and other countries. People think the economic trouble we’re facing today is awful; they should try living in a country where the money is literally worth less than the paper it was printed on.

I would stay behind my massive hand-built log cabin, with a hairy chest, a
heart full of fire, George Strait on my jukebox, hoisting an axe with my glistening biceps. The coffee I drank would be strong and black like the buffalo that roamed the plains and my countenance would be hidden behind the fiercest man-beard The South had ever seen. I would smoke a pipe while running with
a pack of wolves, eat beef jerky for breakfast and strangle snakes to make my boots.

This next section is why I decided to post my remarks on my own page instead of theirs. Mr. Basker is an African American student at Sam Houston State University, and as much as I don’t like his articles mostly, he’s a pretty well spoken individual with a good head on his shoulders. I’m actually really excited that this did not come up in his article, it really shows that we are moving on as a society from an atrocious past, but sadly the past does exist. If Brad Basker had been in Texas 145 years ago, chances are he would not have many of the aforementioned freedoms, since he is not a W.A.S.P.

I believe I wrote that in much more considerate way that what could have originally been achieved in the heat of the moment.

Basker then blames the annexation of Texas on his rather cultured life style. If you want to drink black coffee, drink it. If you want a full beard, grow it. If you’re unhappy with your pretty man feet, wear boots and work outdoors for a few days.

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All credit for this goes to Truthdig, I just happened to Stumble across it. In lieu of the recent New Yorker/Obama “fiasco” I believe this should definitely be their next cover.

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I first started collecting this evidence about a month ago, when two girls walked into my Writing for PR class, both of which were wearing the notorious shoe style. I marked it off as some kind of sorority sister thing, and moved on with my day. However now every “typical” girl I see on campus has a pair of these shoes! Now, how is that this trend, which started with two girls, has now exploded into a campus-wide plague?

Isn’t it obvious?! All of these girls are part of a secret society of women. They meet once a month and decide what the next trendy thing will be. Why do men not notice these meetings you ask? It’s because they hold them in the “feminine products” section of grocery stores. What man goes there? It’s the perfect Forest of Solitude! I am currently planning on a way to infiltrate these secret meetings, I think I will use girlfriend as an in.

Although, I am still baffled as to why they chose to start wearing a style of shoe that has been used to say, “Hi, I’m a 55 year-old balding man who wishes I had a boat,” for the last few decades. Why would they want to steal attention from this population?!

My investigation will continue….maybe.

Until next time,

ChetG

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It has been speculated that the decision to secede was based on the fact that not enough students take the time to read the little door hangers announcing class sessions. President Gaertner said, “It is appalling to think that our students have been pushed to such drastic measures to ensure their classes are not interrupted.”

University officials are still trying to open up lines of communication with the class room before anything too drastic occurs. Some believe that outside students will just have to wait to use the computer lab when the class’ scheduled time has passed.

Some students, though, are fighting back against the rogues. They have decided to enter the class room, sign or no sign. We have not yet heard from our covert reporters in the field. We fear that they may have joined, or have been taken captive by the rogue statistics class.

Stay tuned for Updates…

Updated: March 5, 2008—

The stand-off between university officials and the rogue class, which had dubbed itself the United Emirates of Statisticians, ended early Monday morning. Though no details have been released about negotiations between the two parties, we were informed that a regular “class in session” door hanger was found hanging from LDB 203′s door knob.

The peace agreement will be celebrated tonight at old Sam’s cabin.

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